POLISH REMOVER

A POLISH man moved to CANADA and married a CANADIAN girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. 
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: 

L: Have you any grounds?
P: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home. 

L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
P: It made of concrete. 

L: I don’t think you understand. Do either of you have a real grudge?
P: No, we have carport, and not need one. 

L: I mean. What are your relations like?
P: All my relations still in Poland … 

L: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
P: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

L: Does your wife beat you up?
P: No, I always up before her. 

L: Is your wife a nagger?
P: No, she white. 

L: Why do you want this divorce?
P: She going to kill me. 

L: What makes you think that?
P: I got proof. 

L: What kind of proof?
P: She going to poison me. She buys a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says:
‘Polish Remover’