Mshikaji kakosana na mpenzi wake, wamenuniana kama siku tatu hivi, mshikaji anaishi Tabata, binti anaishi Ukonga.
Siku ya tatu jamaa akaamua amtumie SMS binti ya kumuomba msamaha yaishe warudiane.
Akatuma SMS
"Mpenzi kwa kweli nimekosa, nimejirudi naomba nisamehe yaishe".
Akakaa kama dakika tano hajajibiwa SMS, akatuma ya pili.
Akasubiri kama dakika kumi, hakuna jibu, akatuma ya tatu, ya nne na ya tano, zote kimya.
Jamaa kwa hasira akaona binti anamdharau, akamwandikia SMS nyingine,
"Ujue we mwanamke bwege sana, uzuri wenyewe huna, shepu hovyo, resepsheni ya kuunga unga, na bora tuachane tu, ndo maana natoka na rafiki yako Anna ananipa kila aina ya raha".
Akaa kama dakika tano akaona kimya, akaamua apige amtukane vizuri, ile kupiga simu ikapokelewa na mtu mwingine akamwambia jamaa:
"Kaka samahani huyu dada kaacha simu hapa kwenye chaji ametoka kama nusu saa imepita, ndo nampelekea simu kwake".
Mshikaji akapagawa, akaanza:
"Samahani naomba futa meseji ya mwisho niliyoituma please, nipe namba yako nikutumie hela, naomba unisaidie ndugu yangu!" .
JIPANGE kabla hujaamua!
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Saturday, October 5, 2013
MAMBO YA BOSI
Jamaa
alikuwa akifanya kiwandani na kila siku alikua anafanya overtime. bosi wake akamuita na kumsifu na kumuahidi ya kwamba, kama akiendelea na moyo huo basi anamuhakikishia kumpa cheo kikubwa ofisini ndani ya muda mfupi na hata kumpatia hisa katika kampuni.
jamaa akaongfeza bidii na masaa ya overtime.
Siku moja usiku akiwa katika overtime saa sita
ya usiku TANESCO wakakata umeme, akaamua kutoroka na kurudi nyumbani kwake.
Alipofika nyumbani kwake akakuta gari la bosi
wake limepaki nje, giza likiwa limetanda akazunguka kwenye dirisha la nyumba
yake ili amgongee mkewe, alipogonga sauti ya bosi wake ilitoka chumbani kwake ikisema,
'Nani huyo?'
Jamaa akashtuka na kukimbia mbio kurudi kazini,
akajisemea moyoni
' Dah nusura ningekamatwa na bosi'
YOU ARE HOT
DOCTOR: You are so hot
GIRL: (smiling) Aaawww! Thaaaanx
DOCTOR: Heeeey! I'm talking about your body temperature!
GIRL: (smiling) Aaawww! Thaaaanx
DOCTOR: Heeeey! I'm talking about your body temperature!
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Saturday, August 24, 2013
ZUZU
Zuzu gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he says.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,
"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
You rotten bastard," says the husband,
"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!
He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he says.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,
"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
You rotten bastard," says the husband,
"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!
Thursday, August 22, 2013
BARUA YA WAZI KWA BILL GATES
Kwenda kwa: Bill Gates, Microsoft
Kutoka kwa: Zuzu, Tanzania
Tarehe: 22 Agosti 2013 ...
...
YAH: MATATIZO KWENYE COMPUTER YETU.
Ndugu Bill Gates,
Anko wangu amenunua kompyuta mpya kwa ajili ya kutumia nyumbani kwetu. Nilipoichunguza nimegundua ina matatizo kadhaa.
Nimeamua kukuandikia barua hii ili uyafanyie kazi.
1. Kuna batani ya 'start' lakini hakuna batani ya 'stop'. Tafadhali tazama kwa makini.
2. Nina mashaka kama umeweka 're-guta' maana nimeona umeweka tu 're-cycle', lakini nyumbani kwetu kuna guta na siyo baskeli.
3. Pia nimeona kuna sehemu ya 'Find' lakini wala haifanyi kazi. Anti yangu jana alipoteza funguo.
Nimejaribu sana kubonyeza find ili itusaidie kutafuta funguo imeshindwa. Naripoti tatizo hili.
4. Nimeona tu kuna 'Microsoft word' sasa nataka kujifunza 'Microsoft sentence', sasa ni lini utatuwekea Microsoft Sentence?
5. Tumenunua CPU, mouse na keyboard, lakini kuna kipicha kimoja tu kinachoonyesha 'My Computer':
lini utatuwekea vipicha kwa ajili ya hivyo vifaa vingine?
6. Nimeshangaa kuona kompyuta imeandika mahali 'MY Pictures' lakini sijaona picha yangu hata moja humo. Lini mtaziweka?
7. Pia mmeweka 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' inakuwaje kuhusu 'MICROSOFT HOME' kwa kuwa hii ni kompyuta tunayotumia nyumbani
kwetu na wala siyo ofisini.
8. Pia umeweka 'My Recent Documents'. Vipi kuhusu 'My Past Documents'?
9. Pia umeweka 'My Network Places'. Tafadhali sana iondoe hiyo maana anko atakuwa anajua
mahali nilipo, kuna siku huwa natoroka shule.
Jambo la mwisho. Wewe jina lako ni GATES sasa kwa nini umeamua kuuza WINDOWS?
Wako mtiifu
ZUZU!
UMEONA NINI?
Siku moja mwalimu wa kike alikua anatoa Home work kwa wanafunzi wa darasa la sita .
Ilikua ni homework ndefu ikabidi aanze kuandika juu kabisa ya ubao , akiwa anaendelea kuandika huku amesimamia vidole ili aweze kufikia juu ya ubao . Mwalimu alikua ni mzuri na siku hiyo alivaa kimini .
Mara ghafla alisikia dogo mmoja ametoa mguno !!
Aligeuka na kumuuliza " kilichokufanya ugune nini patric ?"
[PATRIC]. " nomeona skin tyt yako imetokeza mguu wa kushoto na uzi una ning'inia "
[ MWALIMU] huku akigeukia ubao " toka nje darasani kwangu na pia adhabu yako usije shule siku tatu pumbavu watoto wasiku hizi hamna adabu "
Mwalimu aligundua kua hajaandika kichwa cha habari hivyo alilazimika kujinyoosha na kujipinda ili aweze fikia juu kabisa ya ubao . Mara akasikia mguno mwingine darasani aligeuka fasta ...
" Enhe na ww hussein una guna nn ? Kuna kinacho furahisha ?"
[HUSSEIN] " nimeona mapaja mwalimu na skin tyt yako nyeusi afu ina kama mpasuo "
[MWALIMU] kwa hasira " toka njee sitaki kukuona darasani kwangu , nadhani ni muda wakutoa adhabu Kali usije shule wiki tatu na ukija uje na mzazi wako "
Kwakua mwalimu alijiskia aibu na kutoheshimiwa alipata mawazo huku akiwa anaendelea kuandika mara ghafla akaangusha chaki , akageukia darasa na kuinama kuiokota ...
Sasa aliskia mwanafunzi mmoja wakiume akiguna na kucheka ,wengine walicheka kwa kujificha , alipo geuka upande wa kushoto , mara mwalimu alimuona dogo JOHN akitoka njee ya darasa ..
[MWALIMU] "kuja hapa john na ww unadhani unaenda wapi bila ruhusa ???"
[JOHN] " mwalimu mie nilicho kiona kwakweli nadhani NIMEMALIZA SHULE, nimefukuzwa hadi mtihani wa la SABA ...."
Ilikua ni homework ndefu ikabidi aanze kuandika juu kabisa ya ubao , akiwa anaendelea kuandika huku amesimamia vidole ili aweze kufikia juu ya ubao . Mwalimu alikua ni mzuri na siku hiyo alivaa kimini .
Mara ghafla alisikia dogo mmoja ametoa mguno !!
Aligeuka na kumuuliza " kilichokufanya ugune nini patric ?"
[PATRIC]. " nomeona skin tyt yako imetokeza mguu wa kushoto na uzi una ning'inia "
[ MWALIMU] huku akigeukia ubao " toka nje darasani kwangu na pia adhabu yako usije shule siku tatu pumbavu watoto wasiku hizi hamna adabu "
Mwalimu aligundua kua hajaandika kichwa cha habari hivyo alilazimika kujinyoosha na kujipinda ili aweze fikia juu kabisa ya ubao . Mara akasikia mguno mwingine darasani aligeuka fasta ...
" Enhe na ww hussein una guna nn ? Kuna kinacho furahisha ?"
[HUSSEIN] " nimeona mapaja mwalimu na skin tyt yako nyeusi afu ina kama mpasuo "
[MWALIMU] kwa hasira " toka njee sitaki kukuona darasani kwangu , nadhani ni muda wakutoa adhabu Kali usije shule wiki tatu na ukija uje na mzazi wako "
Kwakua mwalimu alijiskia aibu na kutoheshimiwa alipata mawazo huku akiwa anaendelea kuandika mara ghafla akaangusha chaki , akageukia darasa na kuinama kuiokota ...
Sasa aliskia mwanafunzi mmoja wakiume akiguna na kucheka ,wengine walicheka kwa kujificha , alipo geuka upande wa kushoto , mara mwalimu alimuona dogo JOHN akitoka njee ya darasa ..
[MWALIMU] "kuja hapa john na ww unadhani unaenda wapi bila ruhusa ???"
[JOHN] " mwalimu mie nilicho kiona kwakweli nadhani NIMEMALIZA SHULE, nimefukuzwa hadi mtihani wa la SABA ...."
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
ASANTE
Mama: "Mwanangu,njoo nikufundishe hesabu.."
Dogo: "Haya mama."
Mama: "Kwa mfano shangazi yako akikupa maandazi mawili, halafu akakupa tena maandazi mawili jibu lako litakuwa nini?"
Dogo: "Asante shangazi.
Dogo: "Haya mama."
Mama: "Kwa mfano shangazi yako akikupa maandazi mawili, halafu akakupa tena maandazi mawili jibu lako litakuwa nini?"
Dogo: "Asante shangazi.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
STATUE
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry!" she said, "Stand in the corner."
She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."
"What's this, Honey?" the husband inquired, as he entered The room.
"Oh, it's just a statue,"
she replied nonchalantly.
"The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too."
No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep.
Around two in the morning, the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
"Here," he said to the 'statue',
"Eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smith's for two days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water."
"Hurry!" she said, "Stand in the corner."
She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."
"What's this, Honey?" the husband inquired, as he entered The room.
"Oh, it's just a statue,"
she replied nonchalantly.
"The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too."
No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep.
Around two in the morning, the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.
"Here," he said to the 'statue',
"Eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smith's for two days and nobody offered me so much as a glass of water."
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
.bmp)
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
BASH PARTY
I have just attended a closed-door meeting where plans for the BIG UHURUTO BASH PARTY were being discussed. All politicians from All coalitions will attend. Mary Wambui of Othaya was the M.C. And I recorded her distributing responsibilities to various politicians on that BIG DAY…
FOOD:
Hiyo ni sector ya Ngilu na Mudavadi. Mambo ya Ugari wewe Ngiru ndio utashugurikia. Ugari razima ipikwo kupikwo. Sufuria utaoba Mama Ngina. Na mwiko chukua kwa bibi ya Kabogo. Na wewe Mudavadi unatakiwa uchije kuku erfu biri. Na miguu urete niweke. Sitaki upotee nayo. Na pia stew,wewe dio utapika,sawa sawa MaDVD??
COWS:
Kutachijwo ng’ombe mia sita. Na kazi ya ng’ombe ni ya Gideon Moi. Na usiniurize hizo ng’obe zote zitatoka wapi, chukua za baba yako. Na ngozi ya ng’obe usitupe. Wekea Waititu. Arikuwa ame-book. Na ni ng’ombe za dume pekee. Sio ati muende mukachije ng’obe za musichana….
SERVING:
Kethi Kilonzo wewe dio utafanya serving ya kuku. Miguu yote ni ya senior politicians kama Uhuru,Kibaki na Ruto…Vifua itakuriwo na the second senior poriticians kama Kidero na Ngilu na Barara. Arafu shingo zitakuriwo na akina Bifwoli Wakori na Ma MP wa Meru,na katharika.
TEA:
Wetangula chai ni kazi yako. Unafaa upike rita mia moja za chai. Thafuria za kupika kujia kwangu. Na kama hazitatosha chukua za bibi ya Muite. Chai upike kupika. Na maziwa ikuwe mabo baya. Sukari tutatumia ya Mumias STRICTLY. Si ati mukuje kutuwekea sukari sukari za kienyeji hapa ziko na mpaka maganda ya miwa dani. Umeskia Wetagura??
ENTERTAINMENT:
Esther Murugi,si urikuwa umesema utatoa guo uhuru akiperekwo Hague? Haaaaya. Sasa wewe dio OFFICIAL STRIPPER wa hio party. Utapatiwo better details na your fero strippers Huddah Monroe na Vera Sidika,ure wa You Guy. Mutastripia foreign dignitaries. Akina Jacob Zuma wa South Africa. Na muvae ada wear safi! NÃ mwaigua??
TOILET:
Joshua Kutunny hata kama watu wa Cherengany warikunyima kazi ,mimi nitakupea. Wewe dio utashugurikia mabo ya kuonyesha wageni choo. Utavaa uniform imechorwa choo bere na nyuma. Na utasimama mahari strategic. Mugeni akitaka kwenda choo,utamupereka. Na akitaka kuhara,unambeba mpaka kwa choo bio bio.
ALCOHOL.
William Kabogo hii dio kazi yako. Pobe razima ikuwe kwa wingi. Na kutakuwa na category tatu ya pobe. Pobe za ma VIP,akina Uhuru,yaani Barcadi na Cîroc. Pobe za kawaida,yaani Pilsner na Tusker,za akina Njeru Githae na Peter Kenneth. Harafu pobe za makali,yaani Bluemoon. Za akina Waititu na Muite.
HYPEMAN:
Orengo na Ababu Namwamba,nyinyi dio mutakuwa ma Hypemen. Na maM.C wa iyo siku. Nataka muINCITE watu wajae kwa dancefroo. Na pia muINCITE D.J acheze nyibo moto moto.
SECURITY:
Martha Karua,kazi ya uBOUNCER ni yako PEKE YAKO. Utakuwa hapo kwa enterance. Mutu akireta nyoko nyoko,unamchapa tu ire jicho yako ya ‘Iron Lady’ mpaka anaturia. Hapo najua uko chojo kama gari ya zimamoto.
USHERS:
Esther Passaris na Peter Kenneth. Nyinyi dio mutakuwa Main Ushers. Mutavaa guo zinafanana za rangi nyekudu kama damu ya mbuzi kwa kichijio. Na muchanue nywere kama ciana sya thukuru. NÃ mwaigua??
COMEDY:
Otieno Kajwang’ iyo dio sector yako. Wewe na Sonko nataka mushekeshe watu mpaka washute ama wajikojoree. Whichever comes first. Na usianze kuiba ati mapabano,mapabano. Nyibo pereka Supreme Court.
WOMEN’S HANDBAGS:
Iyo ni kazi yako Chebes(Shebesh) .wewe dio utachunga handbag za female guests. Sijui utaziweka wapi ,rakini nataka zikuwe safe. Ata kama utazificha kwa nywere yako ni sawa. Bora security.
HAND-WASHING:
S.K Macharia, kazi ya kuosha guests mikono ni yako. Nataka uwaoshe mikono mpaka ikuwa safi kama signal ya Citizen T.V Githurai. Sawa sawa? Thafuni wa kuosha mikono utachukua kwa duka ya Kabado wa Kabado.
SOCIAL MEDIA:
Dennis Itumbi uko wapi ? Iyo dio area yako. Utakuwa ukipiga pisha every minute arafu unazi uproad kwa facebook na twita. Harafu unanitag. Na unatag Robert Alai pia dio asikie kÃwaru. Sawa Sawa??
PARKING:
And finally mabo ya parking itashugurikiwo na Waititu. Mutu aki-park vibaya unachapa gari yake mawe mpaka unamariza vioo. Na akiedelea kupark vibaya unaINCITE watu dio muchome iyo gari mpaka aitoe hapo. Hapo sawa? Haaaaaya!
BARIKIWENI . Madugu na Madada:
FOOD:
Hiyo ni sector ya Ngilu na Mudavadi. Mambo ya Ugari wewe Ngiru ndio utashugurikia. Ugari razima ipikwo kupikwo. Sufuria utaoba Mama Ngina. Na mwiko chukua kwa bibi ya Kabogo. Na wewe Mudavadi unatakiwa uchije kuku erfu biri. Na miguu urete niweke. Sitaki upotee nayo. Na pia stew,wewe dio utapika,sawa sawa MaDVD??
COWS:
Kutachijwo ng’ombe mia sita. Na kazi ya ng’ombe ni ya Gideon Moi. Na usiniurize hizo ng’obe zote zitatoka wapi, chukua za baba yako. Na ngozi ya ng’obe usitupe. Wekea Waititu. Arikuwa ame-book. Na ni ng’ombe za dume pekee. Sio ati muende mukachije ng’obe za musichana….
SERVING:
Kethi Kilonzo wewe dio utafanya serving ya kuku. Miguu yote ni ya senior politicians kama Uhuru,Kibaki na Ruto…Vifua itakuriwo na the second senior poriticians kama Kidero na Ngilu na Barara. Arafu shingo zitakuriwo na akina Bifwoli Wakori na Ma MP wa Meru,na katharika.
TEA:
Wetangula chai ni kazi yako. Unafaa upike rita mia moja za chai. Thafuria za kupika kujia kwangu. Na kama hazitatosha chukua za bibi ya Muite. Chai upike kupika. Na maziwa ikuwe mabo baya. Sukari tutatumia ya Mumias STRICTLY. Si ati mukuje kutuwekea sukari sukari za kienyeji hapa ziko na mpaka maganda ya miwa dani. Umeskia Wetagura??
ENTERTAINMENT:
Esther Murugi,si urikuwa umesema utatoa guo uhuru akiperekwo Hague? Haaaaya. Sasa wewe dio OFFICIAL STRIPPER wa hio party. Utapatiwo better details na your fero strippers Huddah Monroe na Vera Sidika,ure wa You Guy. Mutastripia foreign dignitaries. Akina Jacob Zuma wa South Africa. Na muvae ada wear safi! NÃ mwaigua??
TOILET:
Joshua Kutunny hata kama watu wa Cherengany warikunyima kazi ,mimi nitakupea. Wewe dio utashugurikia mabo ya kuonyesha wageni choo. Utavaa uniform imechorwa choo bere na nyuma. Na utasimama mahari strategic. Mugeni akitaka kwenda choo,utamupereka. Na akitaka kuhara,unambeba mpaka kwa choo bio bio.
ALCOHOL.
William Kabogo hii dio kazi yako. Pobe razima ikuwe kwa wingi. Na kutakuwa na category tatu ya pobe. Pobe za ma VIP,akina Uhuru,yaani Barcadi na Cîroc. Pobe za kawaida,yaani Pilsner na Tusker,za akina Njeru Githae na Peter Kenneth. Harafu pobe za makali,yaani Bluemoon. Za akina Waititu na Muite.
HYPEMAN:
Orengo na Ababu Namwamba,nyinyi dio mutakuwa ma Hypemen. Na maM.C wa iyo siku. Nataka muINCITE watu wajae kwa dancefroo. Na pia muINCITE D.J acheze nyibo moto moto.
SECURITY:
Martha Karua,kazi ya uBOUNCER ni yako PEKE YAKO. Utakuwa hapo kwa enterance. Mutu akireta nyoko nyoko,unamchapa tu ire jicho yako ya ‘Iron Lady’ mpaka anaturia. Hapo najua uko chojo kama gari ya zimamoto.
USHERS:
Esther Passaris na Peter Kenneth. Nyinyi dio mutakuwa Main Ushers. Mutavaa guo zinafanana za rangi nyekudu kama damu ya mbuzi kwa kichijio. Na muchanue nywere kama ciana sya thukuru. NÃ mwaigua??
COMEDY:
Otieno Kajwang’ iyo dio sector yako. Wewe na Sonko nataka mushekeshe watu mpaka washute ama wajikojoree. Whichever comes first. Na usianze kuiba ati mapabano,mapabano. Nyibo pereka Supreme Court.
WOMEN’S HANDBAGS:
Iyo ni kazi yako Chebes(Shebesh) .wewe dio utachunga handbag za female guests. Sijui utaziweka wapi ,rakini nataka zikuwe safe. Ata kama utazificha kwa nywere yako ni sawa. Bora security.
HAND-WASHING:
S.K Macharia, kazi ya kuosha guests mikono ni yako. Nataka uwaoshe mikono mpaka ikuwa safi kama signal ya Citizen T.V Githurai. Sawa sawa? Thafuni wa kuosha mikono utachukua kwa duka ya Kabado wa Kabado.
SOCIAL MEDIA:
Dennis Itumbi uko wapi ? Iyo dio area yako. Utakuwa ukipiga pisha every minute arafu unazi uproad kwa facebook na twita. Harafu unanitag. Na unatag Robert Alai pia dio asikie kÃwaru. Sawa Sawa??
PARKING:
And finally mabo ya parking itashugurikiwo na Waititu. Mutu aki-park vibaya unachapa gari yake mawe mpaka unamariza vioo. Na akiedelea kupark vibaya unaINCITE watu dio muchome iyo gari mpaka aitoe hapo. Hapo sawa? Haaaaaya!
BARIKIWENI . Madugu na Madada:
Monday, July 29, 2013
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FIRST TIME
Masawe gets married, and on his wedding night calls his father to get some tips on what to do since he had never been with a woman before.
"So what do I do first?"
His father: "Take her clothes off and lay
her on the bed"
5 minutes later Masawee is on the phone again.
"She's naked and in bed what do I do
now?" His father can't believe what he is hearing,
"Take your damn clothes off and get into bed with her."
After another 5 minutes Masawee is on the phone again.
"Dad, I'm naked and in bed with her,
what do I do now?"
His father's patience is now running out so he says,"stupid son, do I have to spell everything out to you? Just put the hardest thing on your body where she pees. Good night !!!!"
Just when his father starts snoring, his son is on the phone again.
"OK Dad, I have my head in the toilet bowl what do I do now?"
"Drown yourself, you bloody idiot!"
"So what do I do first?"
His father: "Take her clothes off and lay
her on the bed"
5 minutes later Masawee is on the phone again.
"She's naked and in bed what do I do
now?" His father can't believe what he is hearing,
"Take your damn clothes off and get into bed with her."
After another 5 minutes Masawee is on the phone again.
"Dad, I'm naked and in bed with her,
what do I do now?"
His father's patience is now running out so he says,"stupid son, do I have to spell everything out to you? Just put the hardest thing on your body where she pees. Good night !!!!"
Just when his father starts snoring, his son is on the phone again.
"OK Dad, I have my head in the toilet bowl what do I do now?"
"Drown yourself, you bloody idiot!"
Saturday, July 27, 2013
ZUZU TASLIMU
MSICHANA: Namchukia mvulana wangu.
ZUZU: Kwa nini?
MSICHANA: Yaani ni mtu wa bei rahisi sana, hawezi hata kuninunulia dinner. Hivi wanaume wote mpo hivyo?
ZUZU: Hapana. huyo yeye tu, sisi hatupo namna hiyo. Hata mimi sipo namna hiyo.
MSICHANA: Nakwenda kuachana nae leo hii hii.
ZUZU: Sawa. Ila utakapoachana nae, unaweza kuja kwangu, sina msichana halafu nakuhitaji sana.
MSICHANA: (Akasimama na kutaka kuondoka, ZUZU akamshika mkono)
ZUZU: Ndio unataka kuondoka? Unakwendawapi sasa?
MSICHANA: Nakwenda kuvunja uhusiano na yeye ili niwe nawe kwa uhuru.
ZUZU: Hapana. Huwezi kuondoka.
MSICHANA: Kwa nini?
ZUZU: Sasa ukiondoka nani atakayelipia hiki chakula tulichokula!
ZUZU: Kwa nini?
MSICHANA: Yaani ni mtu wa bei rahisi sana, hawezi hata kuninunulia dinner. Hivi wanaume wote mpo hivyo?
ZUZU: Hapana. huyo yeye tu, sisi hatupo namna hiyo. Hata mimi sipo namna hiyo.
MSICHANA: Nakwenda kuachana nae leo hii hii.
ZUZU: Sawa. Ila utakapoachana nae, unaweza kuja kwangu, sina msichana halafu nakuhitaji sana.
MSICHANA: (Akasimama na kutaka kuondoka, ZUZU akamshika mkono)
ZUZU: Ndio unataka kuondoka? Unakwendawapi sasa?
MSICHANA: Nakwenda kuvunja uhusiano na yeye ili niwe nawe kwa uhuru.
ZUZU: Hapana. Huwezi kuondoka.
MSICHANA: Kwa nini?
ZUZU: Sasa ukiondoka nani atakayelipia hiki chakula tulichokula!
Friday, July 26, 2013
KWELI MTUPU
A lawyer hopes U get into trouble.
A doctor hopes U fall ill.
An undertaker hopes U fall dead.
Only a thief wishes U well...
nini sasa unabisha????
A doctor hopes U fall ill.
An undertaker hopes U fall dead.
Only a thief wishes U well...
nini sasa unabisha????
GETTING OLD
Two old men were sitting in the yard outside the care home one day when Tim turned to the other and said "John I'm really feeling my age today I just hurt all over, how are you feeling?
John replied "I feel just like a new born babe"
Tim looked at him startled "A New Born babe really?"
"Yep, I have no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
John replied "I feel just like a new born babe"
Tim looked at him startled "A New Born babe really?"
"Yep, I have no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
USHUZI
Haha Andunje alijamba (kwa sauti na harufu kali) darasani basi mwalimu wa somo la hisabati akamtoa nje ya darasa.
Akiwa nje akaanza kucheka kwa nguvu peke yake,
mara mwalimu mkuu akapita na kumuuliza.
M/mkuu: haya we Andunje unacheka nini na kwanini uko nje ya darasa?
Andunje: nilijamba darasani sasa mwalimu akanitoa nje ya darasa, sasa kinachonifurahisha ni kwamba mimi niko nje navuta hewa safi kabisa wao wako darasani wanapata tabu na harufu ya ushuzi wangu.
Muwe na siku njema
Akiwa nje akaanza kucheka kwa nguvu peke yake,
mara mwalimu mkuu akapita na kumuuliza.
M/mkuu: haya we Andunje unacheka nini na kwanini uko nje ya darasa?
Andunje: nilijamba darasani sasa mwalimu akanitoa nje ya darasa, sasa kinachonifurahisha ni kwamba mimi niko nje navuta hewa safi kabisa wao wako darasani wanapata tabu na harufu ya ushuzi wangu.
Muwe na siku njema
WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
Police: Where do you live?
Small Boy: with my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Small Boy: With me.
Police: And where do you live all?
Small Boy: Together
Police: Where is Your Home?
Small Boy: Beside my neighbors' house.
Police: Where is your neighbors' house?
Small Boy: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me?
Small Boy: Next to my house.
Small Boy: with my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Small Boy: With me.
Police: And where do you live all?
Small Boy: Together
Police: Where is Your Home?
Small Boy: Beside my neighbors' house.
Police: Where is your neighbors' house?
Small Boy: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me?
Small Boy: Next to my house.
FUNNY COURT CONVERSATION
TOO FUNNY NOT TO PASS ON!!
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
NANI MBABE
sikiliza mazungumzo haya...
wikipedia: ninajua kila kitu
google: nina kila kitu
facebook: namjua kila mtu
internet: bila mimi hamna kitu
umeme: endeleeni kuongea....
wikipedia: ninajua kila kitu
google: nina kila kitu
facebook: namjua kila mtu
internet: bila mimi hamna kitu
umeme: endeleeni kuongea....
SUPER GLUE
Fred and Mary got married but couldn't afford a honeymoon, so they went back to Fred's Mom and Dad's house for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, got up and had his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, 'No'.
Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.'
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'
She replies, 'No.'
Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school '
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'
His mom says, 'No.' He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Ok, now tell me what you think?'
He says: 'Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline, and I think..I gave him my super glue.'
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, got up and had his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, 'No'.
Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.'
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'
She replies, 'No.'
Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school '
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Fred and Mary up yet?'
His mom says, 'No.' He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Ok, now tell me what you think?'
He says: 'Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline, and I think..I gave him my super glue.'
ANDUNJE
Andunje aliingia chumbani kwa wazazi wake na kuwabamba akawauliza
"Baba, mnafanya nini?"
Baba yake akamjibu
"namdunda mama yako"
Andunje akakaa kwa mda akitafakari kwa huzuni kabisa na sauti ya kipole
"Mama, jamani sasa ni kosa gani umefanya mpaka ustahili adhabu kubwa namna hiyo?? yaani leo tu peke yake umepigwa na wanaume wanne tofauti,
Kwanza, alikua mlinzi Masanja, badae ikawa huyu housiboy Vengu, akafuata muuza magazeti, Mpoki na sasa baba.
Kwanini lakini? we Mama utakua mtundu na mkorofi saaana"
BAADA YA APO
Andunje kwa sasa anaishi kwa shangazi yake, Mama Belle,
Baba yake yupo rumande kwa kosa la kuua
Mazishi ya mama yake yamepangwa kufanyika wikiendi hii
vp utahudhuria??
"Baba, mnafanya nini?"
Baba yake akamjibu
"namdunda mama yako"
Andunje akakaa kwa mda akitafakari kwa huzuni kabisa na sauti ya kipole
"Mama, jamani sasa ni kosa gani umefanya mpaka ustahili adhabu kubwa namna hiyo?? yaani leo tu peke yake umepigwa na wanaume wanne tofauti,
Kwanza, alikua mlinzi Masanja, badae ikawa huyu housiboy Vengu, akafuata muuza magazeti, Mpoki na sasa baba.
Kwanini lakini? we Mama utakua mtundu na mkorofi saaana"
BAADA YA APO
Andunje kwa sasa anaishi kwa shangazi yake, Mama Belle,
Baba yake yupo rumande kwa kosa la kuua
Mazishi ya mama yake yamepangwa kufanyika wikiendi hii
vp utahudhuria??
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
KUFUNDISHA MTOTO
Mama: "Mwanangu,njoo nikufundishe hesabu.."
Dogo: "Haya mama."
Mama: "Kwa mfano shangazi yako akikupa maandazi mawili, halafu akakupa tena maandazi mawili jibu lako litakuwa nini?"
Dogo: "Asante shangazi."
Dogo: "Haya mama."
Mama: "Kwa mfano shangazi yako akikupa maandazi mawili, halafu akakupa tena maandazi mawili jibu lako litakuwa nini?"
Dogo: "Asante shangazi."
MUUZA SAMAKI NA MTEJA
Mteja; Samaki bei gani?
Muuzaji; 2500.
Mteja; Mwisho?
Muuzaji; Mkiani.
Mteja; Mbona samaki mwenyewe kalegea?
Muuzaji; Labda alikua shoga baharini.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Thursday, May 30, 2013
WATOTO WA SIKU HIZI
BABA: Mwanangu soma kwa bidii.. usitarajie kabisa kurithi Nyumba na mali zangu!
MTOTO: Kwanini??
BABA: Usione hii nyumba ilivyo nzuri na hizi mali zoote, Nimezipata kwa JASHO!
MTOTO: Basi zima hiyo A.C Niskie JASHO na mimi Nipate Nyumba na mali zangu!
MTOTO: Kwanini??
BABA: Usione hii nyumba ilivyo nzuri na hizi mali zoote, Nimezipata kwa JASHO!
MTOTO: Basi zima hiyo A.C Niskie JASHO na mimi Nipate Nyumba na mali zangu!
SOKSI ZA BABA
Mwalimu aliuliza swalI darasani,
Nitajie Kitu chochote chenye harufu kali na mbaya zaidi ya Mzoga na Choo
Juma Akanyoosha kidole akajibu "NI SOKSI ZA BABA"
Nitajie Kitu chochote chenye harufu kali na mbaya zaidi ya Mzoga na Choo
Juma Akanyoosha kidole akajibu "NI SOKSI ZA BABA"
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
MATEJA NOMA
niliwakuta mateja wanaangua maembe sasa kwa bahati mbaya pembeni ya embe kulikua na tawi kubwa linawazuia shabaha yao kulilenga embe lianguke...
mmoja akapanda akalivuta tawi la embe pembeni kukwepesha lile tawi kubwa kisha akashuka chini wakaendelea kutungua....
mmoja akapanda akalivuta tawi la embe pembeni kukwepesha lile tawi kubwa kisha akashuka chini wakaendelea kutungua....
PRAYING BEFORE MEAL
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear.
In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim.
Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!"
The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused.
Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you God, for the food I'm about to receive..."
In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim.
Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!"
The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused.
Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you God, for the food I'm about to receive..."
Saturday, May 25, 2013
AKPOS
Once Akpos went to a electronic shop, he asked the shopkeeper" what is the price of this TV ?".
The shopkeeper answered "we don't sell our products to Akpos".
Akpos again came next day by cutting his beard and asked "what is the price of this TV ?".
The shopkeeper replied "we don't sell our products to Akpos".
The next day Akpos came with a differnt face and asked "what is the price of this TV ?".
The shopkeeper replied "we don't sell our products to Akpos".
Finally Akpos got irritated and asked the shopkeeper" how do you recognise me every time ?"
The shopkeeper replied "this is not TV it is Microwave"
The shopkeeper answered "we don't sell our products to Akpos".
Akpos again came next day by cutting his beard and asked "what is the price of this TV ?".
The shopkeeper replied "we don't sell our products to Akpos".
The next day Akpos came with a differnt face and asked "what is the price of this TV ?".
The shopkeeper replied "we don't sell our products to Akpos".
Finally Akpos got irritated and asked the shopkeeper" how do you recognise me every time ?"
The shopkeeper replied "this is not TV it is Microwave"
Friday, May 24, 2013
WHO???
TEACHER...Who created the earth??
(boy pokes a girl's back with a pencil)
Girl..oh God
TEACHER...Good,,correct answer
TEACHER...who was born on 25th december
(boy pokes the girl's back)
Girl...Oh Jesus
TEACHER....very good..correct answer
TEACHER...what did Eve tell Adam when they had their 17th baby??
(boy pokes the girl's back once again)
Girl...if you stick that thing on me once more,am going to BREAK it into half
Teacher fainted
(boy pokes a girl's back with a pencil)
Girl..oh God
TEACHER...Good,,correct answer
TEACHER...who was born on 25th december
(boy pokes the girl's back)
Girl...Oh Jesus
TEACHER....very good..correct answer
TEACHER...what did Eve tell Adam when they had their 17th baby??
(boy pokes the girl's back once again)
Girl...if you stick that thing on me once more,am going to BREAK it into half
Teacher fainted
BUSINESS FAILURE
TEACHER: Give an example of business failure due to carelessness..
ANDUNJE: Real Madrid failing to win the Copa del Rey at the Bernabeu
ANDUNJE: Real Madrid failing to win the Copa del Rey at the Bernabeu
PERIOD
TEACHER: Why are u late, do u know that u missed a Period..
ANDUNJE: OMG, please don't tell me that I am pregnant
ANDUNJE: OMG, please don't tell me that I am pregnant
RANGI GANI??
Jamaa alipeleka gari lake kwa fundi lipakwe rangi!
Fundi akauliza, "Lipakwe rangi gani?"
Jamaa akasema,
"Yeyote isipokuwa nyekundu, nyeupe, bluu, manjano, kijani, wairdi, nyeusi, chockleti, kijivujivu, maziwa, zambarau, orange...(na nyingi nyengnezo akazitaja!)
Lini nije kulichukua gari langu?"
Fundi akamjibu
"Njoo cku yoyote icpokuwa Jumatatu, Jumanne, Jumatano, Alhamis Ijumaa, J'mosi wala jumapili!"
Fundi akauliza, "Lipakwe rangi gani?"
Jamaa akasema,
"Yeyote isipokuwa nyekundu, nyeupe, bluu, manjano, kijani, wairdi, nyeusi, chockleti, kijivujivu, maziwa, zambarau, orange...(na nyingi nyengnezo akazitaja!)
Lini nije kulichukua gari langu?"
Fundi akamjibu
"Njoo cku yoyote icpokuwa Jumatatu, Jumanne, Jumatano, Alhamis Ijumaa, J'mosi wala jumapili!"
Sunday, May 19, 2013
BLENDA
Siku ya kwanza :
MUME: vipi mke wangu salama
MKE:salama tu mume wangu
MUME:uko wapi
MKE:niko nyumbani mume wangu
MUME:mmh kama kweli uko nyumbani hebu washa blender niisikie
mke akawasha blender - haya umeisikia ??
MUME:ndio mke wangu nimeiskia
MKE:salama tu mume wangu
MUME:uko wapi
MKE:niko nyumbani mume wangu
MUME:mmh kama kweli uko nyumbani hebu washa blender niisikie
mke akawasha blender - haya umeisikia ??
MUME:ndio mke wangu nimeiskia
Siku
ya pili :
MUME:vipi mke wangu
habari za hapo nyumbani
MKE:nzuri tu kamaulivyotuacha tuko poa
MKE:nzuri tu kamaulivyotuacha tuko poa
MUME:uko wapi
MKE:niko nyumbani mume wangu
MUME:kama uko nyumbani hebu washa blender niisikie
MKE:niko nyumbani mume wangu
MUME:kama uko nyumbani hebu washa blender niisikie
mke akawasha blender - haya umeisikia ??
MUME:ndio mke wangu nimeisikia
siku
ya tatu
mume akahamua kurudi bila taarifa around mchana
akamkuta mfanyakazi nyumbani akamuuliza
"vipi mbona
uko peke yako mama yuko wapi ?"
yule
mfanyakazi akamwambia
"mama ameondoka na
blender tokea asubuhi hajarudi ...."
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